I leave for Amsterdam in 14 hours. My dad is uploading Dr. Who onto my ipod for the flight.
I will be doing a travel blog over spring break, so stay tuned.
Definitely not as often as my Boston trip, but i will upload pictures more often than write.
Tomorrow morning:
My flight leaves from SFO 12:30pm to Memphis, TN, arrive 6pm (4 hours)
Depart MEM 7:15pm arrive Amsterdam 11am fri morning. (9 hours)
I will be going directly to the central station, eating, finding the bibliotheek (library) and calling Eva from my skype.
Hopefully I will go see La Traviata the next day at the Nederlands Operahouse. :)
I'll keep it updated.
Although, i believe, or i could just be anxious, but moodswings have kicked in. AGH! nothing could be worse than that flight from Munich to Ancona though. >_< ick. crying. ick. never again. moving on.....
I was slipping a bit today with catching myself dwelling. Staring out the GMC at a shell of a man i used to know so well.
I remember, I can love at my own disposal without consent. Love is fierce, untamed and free to give.
But today, i forget. Today, I wore emblematic material representing a first love I have buried.
Not to bait. not to arouse static.
Just out of sheer personal desire. A scarf, once his. Then ours. Then stored away forgotten until 2 days before my trip. I had a brilliant idea.
I'm taking it to Amsterdam, and i just might leave it there. Maybe in Paris. as a statement.
What a trip.
I love it.
I love a lot of things.
And i just can't care anymore whether anyone thinks i shouldn't love certain things.
I do. And i will. And i go on. With pure intent.
I don't know any other way to love.
Even from a distance, I missed intensely. I shot fire with gaze.
I plead for reminiscence.
and caught only a breeze of an essence resembling sweatmarks once stained, once biologically placed with mine.
Chemicals reappearing in hastiness. This time, I won't have anyone to share the airplane bathroom with.
and i think this,-
"It's okay in the day I'm staying busy
Tied up enough so I don't have to wonder where is he
Got so sick of crying
So just lately
When I catch myself I do a 180
Run around just so I don't have to think about thinking
If I was my heart
I'd rather be restless
The second I stop the sleep catches up and I'm breathless
And I wake up alone"
-quoted from Amy Winehouse's "Wake Up Alone"
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