Different Wars

my mind is in a million places. 
ready for whatever.
got me runnin faces in my mind like erasing all the times
i 
got you in it, all caught up in it
knowin nothin but protectin, not as guilty as they come
but wishin youda done what i never could a done
what i never thought i wanted but it always was wrong
like a animal in heat bet you thought you got me beat
manipulate my mind so in time your secret is complete
no secrets no more im finna blow it all apart im finna tell it all out till my eyes dried out till my brains so numb cant undone what you done what you did to the kid, what i lost so young


im not equipped with the right armor for that battle
that battle can wait,
for this other battle ill rattle off the list of artillery i need for this war
a horde of forlorn scorned victims turned lawyers
bathrooms and bedrooms and lofts and sex stores
turned courtrooms and war rooms an torture for sure
ill get through this and get back to that other battle for sure
only detour the turns and the twists i endure
for love when your backs turned, its raw real and pure
or confused and refused, just a lesson you learned, a test in the mess of a ventriloquists' best, throwin voice throwin shade i think you really not sure.
you say you learn not to lie, learn'n on the fly, the battle begins once you kidnap the truth, held hostage the honesty in one smirk and then poof - my proof is my gut tellin me i dont trust you.
how could i. how should i. the puddin is smooth. through the roof that i fly like a rocket so high im in to this war, one foot out on the floor and im not comin back just to communicate the next heartbreak you serve .
its always the same with you, a name with you, a baby step, all in time for you, im out of context that rhymes with you, what i think is pleasure is pain in my veins from shootin up the next score in this game of who will hurt the other more, the knife i need to cut you off is always dull,
and the voices in my mind remind the voices from behind, like the past echoes in the mine off the stalactites of a time when love was easier to find.
aint nobody got rhyme fa that, in time will that be a fight ill find ill probably never win, im closer to the ring than ive ever been, too old fa not-thought-out complaints and pains you thinkll go away,
too young for ultimatums in defense of selfish things like love that leaves you trashed and love that leaves you branded, a love that never tells the truth no matter what it learns, what it earns, what it yearns for, burns for, cus its a truth that cant be sold, its a love that cant be bought. warriors bold. survivors unfold. wont stop, cant stop hustlin the spot, on the block where i live. home is where the healing begins, and this battle can wait, im IN im not gone, but im on pause with try'n. the other battle needs a fighter and im one to empower. a soldier for the sisters who been lost, one to step forward and say whats been not. said till now and this gon be the one that turns my frown into a smile. after alla the tears and the fears I been facin, finally truth gone set me free of these omens. oceans of trauma and desensitized emotion, this armor i got aint no calamine lotion, remember newtons third law of motion? get ready for a commotion, what your karma was for, im like Lebron in this war, on the stand, in the street, the balls in my court, stay out the kitchen if you cant handle this Heat.