2/17-2/19 ~ Fortune and Gayme: birthday goals and sucesses (travelblog)

2/17/12
Yesterday,  I woke up and met my 2nd host, who is super awesome. This trip is nothing but fortunate. I went out to the salvation army, got apparel for square dancing. the buses run well here, never waited longer than 10 min for any of them. Went back to Wilton Manors to cruise the gay-borhood. If the Castro was its own city, this would be it. cool shops, a thrift store that benefits stray animal care. I met a cool guy named Gary who is 50 but doesnt look it at all! He was way awesome. We talked about Gay Life in Ft. Laud. It's so OUT here. I love it. Way progressive and well deserved. If i lived in Florida, it would be this town or oakland park. I met a nice kid at the bus stop from Tampa. Then headed to Oakland Park and took a bus east to Galt Ocean Mile. I was trapped by condos! oh NOES! :p No beach access for a mile....lame. I finally got to Lauderdale Beach around Vista Park. Well worth it. Secluded. Quiet. Very nice spot. Humberto joined me. the Water was so Warm!! then we headed back to my hosts house. He was there with a friend of his, Alberto and we all went out to this Beer Market/ deli/cafe something, in the cuts..it was fantastic. A whole wall of all kinds of beer. I got a yummy molasses brewed brown ale. $3 crazy! awesome conversations and sweet cheap beer and pizza. Around midnight we took off, I stayed up for a couple hours chatting with my host Mark. Made me think about places in life and desire versus unbalance, futility, many other thoughts. I found myself hoping I get a chance to have an ex that can actually be my friend that kind of honest intimacy at the same time. instead of acting fucking neurotic just because you've seen each other naked and dont know how to go forward or back, not that either is right (its about the new and the present). being able to acknowledge differences, but being mutually important enough to stay close. maybe one day...or not. maybe i'll stay asexual and be fine living my life to its fullest the way i do now, not lacking anything. got to sleep around 3am, woke up around 8am ready for a new day.
Today, the 17th, i repacked to go to my new hosts' and headed to the postoffice to mail a few postcards and patricks bday gift. headed to new hosts house, close to this one, but in victoria park. a really old colonial neighborhood. beautiful houses, kind of like Hawaii but bigger houses. More southern colonial. this host Andrew is a mutual couchhost of a friend and past couchsurfer of mine, Ben. I smell weed as i arrive. haha. So i drop my stuff and jet for new adventures. I walked up to Sunrise Blvd and found another Out of the Closet, still no boots. Got yelled at by some driver with road rage. I was on the sidewalk walking through the entrance to a shopping center, you know, I have right of way, its still the sidewalk. She was livid at this concept. Her problem, not mine. I get to the beach, Vistamar. Chill. take a nap. eat. walk to Terramar. Riomar. Meet humberto . He swims. I go potty. then i found a giant chocolate cookie!  in a bakery. not the potty. lolz We head back to my hosts place, change (it had gotten breezy), back to Humbertos, out for food, found a payless! Finally, got my boots. Now i'm dropped off at New Moon Lesbian bar. Cheap happy hour. some girl waved at me. how friendly. the bartender gave me a chip but i dont know what its for. It was too loud and i didnt hear her. maybe cus its my birthday..i dont know.well i'll write more later. time to be awkward eye-contact beer sipping strange new girl.
--It was a chip for a free beer during happy hour any day.--

On the way to the bathroom some old lesbian said "nice boots girlfriend!" lols. Bartender starts talking to me a bit. Why are lesbians so sub most of the time? it doesnt take much to start a conversation..(I say as i sit there all fake-shy, please) took a walk around Wilton Manors and its Art Walk night so the local thrift shop had local florida fruit wine. Strawberry, blueberry, the like. Lots of art displayed all over the sidewalks for each store. Feeling tipsy so i found biscuits and gravy at a diner. mmm sobering up, walk 3 miles back Victoria Park. felt very safe and warm out. no one ever talked to me. there was barely anyone out. some girl was walking right in the center of the streets. no cars out, it made sense to me. haha walked the 3 miles in 70 min. nice. Andrew has this little chair thing that folds out to be a sleeper. its exactly my height! and oh so suprisingly comfortable. it doesnt look comfortable at all, but its reallly goood. i have to get me one for my guests. Sleep now.

 2/18/12
Its mah birthday! woot. 24 will be good.
I woke up and walked to find breakfast. I find Einstein Bros bagels. I havent had these in so long! lucky day for me! across the street its starbucks time. My free birthday drink. any drink any size. I get a venti half chai/half vanilla bean soy frapp. mmmm they were so cheerful in there..they tried to get one of the guys to sing me happy birthday..i told him he didnt have to. I plugged my laptop in and uploaded all my pics. It was nice to see all the happy birthday posts on my wall. :) I stayed at starfucks for almost 2 hours internetting. a girl sat down next to me and chatted with me. She just moved to Ft Laud from upstate NY and shes had the worst time. Apparently she fell into the wrong crowd staying at whatever hostel she did, and a friend of a friends place...she didnt have anywhere to go, so she was on her way to a hotel or something. but she was charging her phone. she had a breathing machine with her. She said she had COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and is just one thing after another for her. I tried my best at giving her positive advice on how to go about getting what you need from the universe and keeping her head up. whether it be just going to the beach and not worrying so much. I told her about couchsurfing, the bus system and such. she wished me a happy birthday and gave me a tigers eye stone she got in upstate ny rock quarry. even though i felt she was in a negtive spiral, it was refreshing to see someone despite their mud-colored glasses, they know how to give when not recieving. I hope her days get better. It really is all about timing and having the right attitude. especially having patience. So she called a cab and went toward the beach. Humberto picked me up and we drove to Miami...to Bay Harbor Island.
I found the apartment where they filmed Dexter's Apartment in all the intro scenes. It's private property so i was hoping to ask someone who lived there to let us in to take a picture, or if i have to pay them i could do that too.
Ok so, yes, get your laughs out now. im a freak. you know this. BUT! I'm not the ONLY freak. there were 2 other people there looking for the same thing! ha!and then 4 more people showed up! HAHA! This sweet old man that lives in the apt complex next door let us into his backyard property/pool to take pictures through the fence. He said the management next door literally put up a fence just 2 days ago to keep people out because apparently hundred of people come all the damn time to take pictures!!!!!!!LOLZ! I feel better knowing im not the only one. The guys name was Jeff and he was so cool. he was from NYC, so he knows whats up! He even picked a flower from his yard and gave it to me, telling me Happy Birthday! :) So sweet! Then, a happy duck that i was, left feeling like my bday goal was accomplished. We headed to this picnic/party that my host Mark had invited me to in Miami shores neighborhood called El Portal. At a wonderful girls house name Virginia. the party was for a Meetup group they are all a part of where they get together to take part in extreme activities. pretty lucky to have such a strong and amazing group of people to network and be friends with and do crazy cool stuff with. And i got to celebrate my birthday with all these wacky beautiful people! yee-haw. I met so many amazing people its hard to put in to words. I was very appreciative of being to celebrate my birthday, (which normally birthdays are opposite you know, you spend them with people that come to see you, your friends, family, whatever, you get gifts that are meant for you, the party is about you!) rather, i got to spend mine with awesome strangers that i didnt know, the party was about celebrating their group and i didnt get any gifts (except new friends). i dont know to explain how perfect that was for me..haha hella tight. I'm grateful i get to do new and exciting things for my birthday instead of same old same old. it kind of sets my new year in life off to a good start. the theme: meeting new people and doing new things. "Bob! Get out of your loft and be social!" :)
good food, good graces. Around 11 I went back to Andrews house and was not tired yet. I got a text from a new friend i met at the Party, Andre. He asked me if i wanted to go out and see South Beach, so he picked me up and we went down to South Beach. I wasnt too tired at first, but slowly i began to get exhausted. Seeing the miami cityscape was pretty cool, south beach is weird and bright and loud. We got out and he took me to a club called Mangos which he had VIP cards for. It was a nightmare! I wanted to believe that clubs like this didnt exist in real life, only in movies, but for the sheer grossness of it, it really does exist and its terrible.I really cant even begin to tell you everything that made my skin crawl. Its just creepy and objectifiying and so heteronormative. i dont like straight clubs. sorry. but they are terrible. i asked him if we could leave. we went to the beach. it was white sand. nice to see but i had a bangin headache by this time and he was hella surprised and off-put when he asked if i was gay and i said "what do you think?"sometimes its easier to say. however, i laid out the truth for him. gay is hard to cling to. sexuality or asexuality is more fluid than that and a lot more complicated. I dont think he wanted to have an ethical discussion about orientation. But i still went into it. what else was i going to say? I mean really, he opened up the door. I am asexual. it's what i am now, and what i think i'll be in the near future.  parts of me think its always been this way. anyway, thats another blog for another time. whatever i said bothered him or something because he didnt make much conversation after that and we just headed back to the car so he could drive me home. I didnt feel unsafe. Just awkward. Like you know that moment, when some dude is being so predictable its actually surprising. After he knew the answer to his question (would he end up hooking up with me? NO.) he didnt need to spend any more time with me. Not that this is what happened, however it is a legitimate and logical assumption (not a conclusion.) Maybe he was just tired. Ha. i'll leave it open to that. but my gut was saying otherwise in volumes.

 Got back to Andrew's at 4am..talked for a bit about my terrible time in South Beach, which he thought was hilarious..which I thought was hilarious.

2/19/12
Slept till 9 this morning. could not speak really at all. need honey. need tea. need juice. need garlic. need..more sleep.felt sick as a sick puppy. body hurt. ick.Had tea. gave andrew Dexter seasons and Life seasons.  Said my thank yous and took off for breakfast at a cafe on Las Olas. The guy at the cashier was from maine. he had a piglet on his shirt. :) The menu had a sandwich called The Empire State. - which the description said "our version of a "grinder" (insert ingredients here)" HA! A grinder is what they call a sub in Rhode Island!, not new York, the Empire State! lolz
 I got a breakfast croissant sandwich..mmm it was huge for $3. Walked back to marks, made tea,  a ton of honey that i swiped from the cafe. took a B vitamin. drank a ton of water. took a shower. layed down. then started walking to the Beach. Attempted to get Humberto out there with me, to no avail. The traffic apparently was too much for him. I laid on the beach from 1:30pm till 4:30 pm. It was nice. I finished this great book called The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own.
Sent my brother AND BFF, Alex, some birthday wishes, one of these days we gotta have a double birthday bash again in the same damn city.
Walked back to Mark's, had some leftover dinner, packed my bags for leaving soon, uploaded more pics, did some hefty Poi Practice to deathstar/marty party(i was totally sweating).Sadness is coming over me..had such an intensely happy week, and now having to return to the cold and the reality that is new therapy and such is just so overbearing. I gotta figure some things out. But for now I am REALLY trying to savor this sunshine and happiness as much as i can before i must return.

Last note, i dont know why i only recived 3 calls on my birthday. I got 8 brothers an sisters and 2 moms and a dad. whats this shhhhhh haha. the ones that txt/fb me are lucky i love 'em. This year people are sleeping or something. I love ya'll but damn, its one day a year that really means anything to me. What are you doing thats so important you cant make a phone call for 5 minutes out for your day? ridiculous.
 OK im done. Aloha,im rejuvenating my body and maybe ill find some way to get juice tomorrow.also square dancing. goodnight
B