Bonjour,
I arrived in Gare du Nord station and took straight away (as my awesome directions from Benji said) the RER B to RER C, switching at St. Michele/Notre Dame station and arriving at Eiffel Tower around 11:30. Here is the funny part.
I get off the station, good good, I started walking along the Seine, looking looking and I see the Eiffel Tower. but I think, huh, why is it so small? I really thought it would be much, much bigger. I remember when I saw the statue of Liberty for the first time and I stood for many many minutes with my jaw dropped because of it's magnanimous size, but this. I really was surprised.
Although, funny, as I get closer and closer and closer it of course gets bigger and bigger and then boom wow yeah, ok, It's pretty darn gigantic. And of course lots and lots of people. So, I decide If I were to wait in these lines to even attempt to climb it, It would take 2 hours at the most if not more just to get up, then down I dont know.
I decide it wasn't worth it, seeing how I only have small amount of time here and can come back again. I will return!
I love Paris. mmmmmmm I love this city. Although, like New York, I have to say I don't think I could live here very long consecutively. I need the country to get by. I need quiet, and the moon, stars, clear nights, fields, mountains, jungles, wildflowers, birds, much much more that city lights eliminate.
I was walking toward the grass on the other side of the tower with enough space that I could get pictures of the whole thing and see it to reflect, think, whatever the hell I needed to do.
I swear, the Italy belt I have is a big help too. haha this man stopped me and of course,
"è italiano?"
"oh no no, ma sono andato lì l'anno scorso. il mio paese preferito!"
"dove?"
"la costa adriatica. vicino Ancona."
etc. etc.
and I got to practice my italian! YES! and he took a picture of me in front of the tower. So sweet. I love Italians.
I sat down on the grass to contemplate.
But instead, the tears fell.
and fell.
and fell.
and fell.
To take in so much beauty, I always remember so many I could be sharing it with, or just the fact I have had at some point been able to share sights with someone and knowing what lacks when traveling alone.
But, I was also torn. I just didn't know what I wanted, what I was doing in Paris, what move to make, what is healthy what is not...
So I was just overwhelmed.
I guess I realized I must sound ignorant to think I could just toss the scarf over a ledge and haha oh there it goes. Au Revoir!
There was no way, in the way that I had manifested. So, I guess at this moment I realized I am stuck with it unless I just leave it on the grass. I did not know. So I kept it. I thought maybe somewhere else will grab me and relieve me of these illnesses hibernating in the small corners of my psyche.
so, I wrote a bit. nothing special. spent maybe an hour there, got up and walked back. I started walking down this road towards Le Champs Elysee, singing some Regina Spektor, bringing my spirit back.
"Ne me quitte, pas mon cher, ne me quitte pas."
I really don't feel like getting into to much detail about everything I saw walking around just because there was so much more than what I saw. Parisians are beautiful people, and I felt a bit sad at myself for not taking french in high school, or ever. My dumb move, not to learn french before this trip. Many chances, yet I hadn't thought about it apparently. I think I could've spent more time productively talking to more people if I just knew a bit. I'm getting on it now. I got a bit tired so I headed to Montparnasse to meet up with my host Zied. I could not for the life of figure out how to use this payphone and the woman in this shop didn't speak english. If I had known Hindi or French, could've helped me. But so I'm thinking I will just find his apt and ring the bell.
But this guy stops me at a corner and talks to me, he was really really nice, beautiful and most importantly let me use his cell phone.
I call Zied and he said he will walk towards me as I try to find his place.
Oh my, I cannot even give you a description of this curious maybe, but mostly ecstatic feeling I had when I see him for the first time.
Zied is this short little french/Tunisian man with beautiful curly hair and this glowing personality. Damn the french and their amazingly seductive accents! :)
He played some music for me, his guitar, a chinese flute, another chinese instrument that sounded similarly to a saxophone and his harmonica. yes, then we jammed a little bit, He played some classical spanish guitar while i played some rhythm on his other guitar. He also played this song "what if god was one of us" by Joan Osborne haha but then I asked him if he could sing it in French, and he did on the spot! Woo yes he is fantastic.
Then, he's so cute, with so much energy, he said we can do a lot in one day but I can't say I've been to Paris until I've seen the Saint Martre (i think). So we go. And he gives the best tour ever! We go so many places in one day I feel as if he is the male version of myself. haha
really though, I give tours of San Francisco the same way, and he sings randomly, or hums something and laughs a lot, makes accents and how do you say, play acting. We had such a good time together. I think we are definitely some psycho pair when put in the same room.
not to mention, same height ! haha he also tried to help me with my french, but I am just so bad at it. but he is so patient with my R's. said I been spending too much time in the Dutch area, my R's are too hard. So, we ended up speaking spanish or italian to one another mostly, and then english when I didn't want to think about words I didn't know anymore.
So, we walk along the Seine, saw Notre Dame, Arc di triomphe, best view of Paris ever at the top of St. Martre. We went inside the cathedral as well, but walked around fast, because I just wanted to see the inside architecture. And I told him I'm not so religious, and he says,"yeah people ask me what I believe in, I just say I'm a guitarist!"
Ahhhhhhh amazing.
He took lots of pictures of me and us together which he is going to send me, and I got some too I will upload soon.
I am so glad I went to Paris even for a day, I needed to meet this vibrant free spirit named Zied Jammoussi from Tunisia.
Then, we go back to his place to meet the other couchsurfers staying there. 2 girls from bruxxeles, belgium. They told me they re both doing social work for the people of Belgium, while one girl is also at the same time studying to be a sex therapist. It was interesting to talk to her about this, because she said in Belgium the difference between gay and straight or something is not really there so sex therapists talk to both or either but not specializing in one sexual orientation. I think in America maybe we focus too much importance on what we "are" that in turn created less unity and ultimately segregates us and turns on the idea of choice to accept or not.
So, before we got home Zied and I went to the supermarket for food to make. and he insisted he pay! haha he said because I am the guest. so funny, He is so hospitable. Just like if someone were staying with me. He also earlier actually asked me first if he could buy my coffee. hehe I like it. He said he asks now, because lots of people don't just accept.
Oh yes, so we washed the dishes together and then he made pasta with lots of garlic (yes! He loves garlic!)
drank a bit of pear juice mixed with vodka, had a beer, and chatted a bit. I only had a small portion because I know myself. and I tell them, and the girls were laughing because they drink all the time and it doesn't affect them, so they didn't get it. But i said, no no if i drink any more i will be hugging everyone at this party later, and this girl pushes my glass back towards me, "oh yes yes then drink some more, we want to see this!" hahaha I love europeans. But she was joking. They were really cool.
So, in europe the Couchsurfing site is very big and they go to all the meeting every month all the time, and hang out, and have parties where couch surfers and couch hosts can meet one another. so i got to meet lots of people. but this night just so happened to be themed with Pajama party. I didn;t bring any pajamas but Zied lent me one of his shirts. But i pulled it off really well and very stylish, people were commenting on it. The other girls didn't want to dress up party poopers :p
So we go to this small bar where basically the party is outside the bar. Most people hadn't even made it in yet, or coudln't because it was so packed. Lots of great pajamas and even one guy dressed up like a big baby. I have pictures, dont worry. I got to meet so many people, and especially lots of hosts from Paris. Parisians are really some of the most amazing cool fun smart people I've ever met. Alex the girl, my best friend was absolutely right. Funny, before I left she told me "you'll love them! They inhabit everything you loved about Max, but they're for real!" hahaha shes so funny., but I have to say she's right.
everything but fake, or stuck up. I can't wait to return.
Then the bar is shutting down around 1 i guess and we try to move the party elsewhere so but it takes a lot of time to get people all together. Finally, we did end up walking and eating chips, and heading to a market for more beer, but I got an orange instead. The belgium girls left early to go back to Zied's house to sleep. They had been at Euro Disney all day and were really tired. So we the group of us headed to the guy's house that dressed like a baby, I forgot his name already. On the way, I met this amazing French Portugues guy named Stephane and we started speaking portugues and he was teaching me some I didn't know. YAY for getting in touch with roots. He was amazing, and hope he comes to visit me like he said he was interested. Then , I was thinking wow, I really do know a good amount of a lot of languages.
English, Spanish, Portugues, Italian, German, Dutch, French that I can't pronounce correctly...now I just need to keep adding and perfecting the ones I know. :)
Oh which reminds me, I don't know if i put this in my 2nd blog, but when Eva and Lucas and I were at Vondel Park back in Amsterdam I told her I remembered the German song she taught me back in 9th grade. So she had me sing it to her and it got her and Lucas cracking up hysterically. I thought at first because it was bad but she said it was perfect, just the song itself is so silly and nonsense that it was funny that's the only thing i know so well. :)
Eisgekühlter Bummerlunder
Bummerlunder Eisgekühlt
Und dazu: ein belegtes Brot mit Schinken, Schinken
Ein belegtes Brot mit Ei, Ei.
Das sind zwei belegte Brote
Eins mit Schinken eins mit Ei
Und dazu: eisgekühlter Bummerlunder,
Bummerlunder eisgekühlt
Und dazu: ein belegtes Brot mit Schinken, Schinken
Ein belegtes Brot mit Ei, Ei.
back to Paris:
After the bar, we hung out at this house and I was getting tired but was feeling really really happy and so safe and in couldn't of been in a more warm environment. and Zied began to hold my hand and we sat with each other very nicely, me leaning into him and watching the others in such content and relief to be in such a place surrounded by beautiful people.
and I remember having never been this happy since I was in Italy.
So we got a taxi back to his apt and didn't go to bed quite yet, but I will not divulge into details of the rest of the night for this blog. Maybe another time, when and if, I ever publish a diary such as my heroines, Isabelle and Anais.
But I will say, it wasn't too amazing, a bit disappointing, but still worth remembering. I'm just glad that i didn't cry again for the rest of my time in Paris. Although, sitting on the train leaving Gare du Nord, I was still wearing this scarf feeling like I'd lost in battle.
Maybe next step is learning to evict my heart from the spot it has been renting on my sleeve for years.
I tend to think this sleeve is not a good location for the weather at this time.
But I left out the morning. We woke up and went for breakfast. He insisted I have a real french croissant before I go. But for real, it wasn't good. haha I've had better in the states. But I didn't finish it, I ate the chocolate pastry thing he got instead, which actually was amazing. Then I board the train after many more pictures and kisses to my forehead :) so cute.
I hope he comes to visit me so I can return the tour and hosting. and one day, I will go to tunisia and also return to Paris. This city I feel I could get to know really well. Next time, I will visit the cemetery where all my favorites are buried.
I slept on the train for a good amount of time. When I returned to Amsterdam, I met another host from Couchsurfing for coffee. His name is Robin and he is from the Netherlands, going to the university for sciences of something. I could not wait for this to be over. haha he was quite irritating. Very argumentative. Reminding me a lot of the person who I used to put on some pedestal back when I was 15, you know, that one who thieved my innocence. Yeah, him.
So, I made pasta this time and then we rode around Amsterdam on his motorbike, (which was actually awesome, I've never ridden on a motorcycle, so what a great experience, in Amsterdam). We went by the Symphony house and of course, like the sneak I am, got us into the theatre during an intermission. got pictures of the inside, really good architecture, but he seemed really bored and wanted to go, which annoyed me. So then he dropped me off at centraal station and I got Daisy, my bike for this trip. Rode home, seriously contemplating taking a ride back through Red Light District, to make up for the disappointment in Paris, but, I think I didn't want to tempt myself or really just I didn't want to spend any more money. The euro was killing my pocketbook. haha, maybe this is not right of me. I'm not sure, I haven't really analyzed it much. Maybe another day.
so I just went home and packed, ate a little, figured out my schedule and wrote a bit. I only slept from 2am till 4;15. got up made sure I had everything, ate and then realized had more time, so slept for 20 more minutes and jumped up at 5:10am, said goodbye to the house and walked to Middenlaan to wait for the nachtbus.
Got to centraal station and found out the metro doesn't run until 730am (my flight was at 8am). So I bit the bullet and paid 45 euro for a taxi to take me. I guess the only other option would've been gone and stayed at the airport over night. hrmm so this was the best I guess...?
I will write about Amsterdam airport and traveling through customs at a later time. I have an hour and half before I'm back in SF. Ciao ciao
Au revoir,
B the G
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