Some of you have known me a very long time and probably have had a few questions along the way.
My family story has always been extensively complicated and mystifying.
This is the story of how I went from a girl with 2 siblings to a girl with 9 siblings and multiple parents.
When I started High School in SF in 2002, people would ask about my family. Back then I didn't have one.
Or i did, but not one that supported me, or that i knew about.
I lived with my older brother. He took care of me after i was kicked out. and a lot of the time i took care of myself.
I didn't have parents. I had mentors. Teachers. The Mime Troupe. They were my saving grace.
I had them to look up to and learn from and be inspired by.
The truth is, which I didn't put all the pieces together for a long time, is that I was adopted as an infant. I almost died the day i was born from all the heroin in my system. My biological mother wasn't allowed to have custody so I went into Foster Care instantaneously.
After two weeks in foster care, my biological half-aunt adopted my two full blood relation siblings, an older sister and older brother. She raised us, but her partner Vic's Sikh Punjabi parents felt more like caretakers to me.
After they separated, My sister and I were moved to Denver, Colorado, then to Baltimore, Maryland, finally to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
Along the way, both my siblings left the house as teenagers. My brother stayed in the Bay at 16 and my sister stayed in Baltimore to raise her child at 17.
I was kicked out at 14 and made my way to SF from Gettysburg via Dallas. (that's another story for another time).
In 2005, my last year of high school , I met my best friend forever, Alex. His dad kind of adopted me and over time I had this new family. New younger siblings that i love with all my heart. It gave me the joy of being an older sibling, people i could connect with and look out for and re-create the kind of family time i don't think i ever got, or ever remembered having. a new mom. an actual dad.a younger sister Sara and two younger brothers Alex and Levi, one of which also happened to be my best friend. I sure am lucky.
A lot happened in 2004. In addition to my new family, my paternal grandparents passed away and from that tragic situation and their will, I found out I had a half-brother from my biological father's side and a half-sister from my biological father as well.
I met my half-sister Lucinda the first time being on tour with the mime troupe at a show we did in Stockton that year. it was a very important moment for me. I met her husband and her kids and her mother. I was beginning to learn about my family story. Little did any of us know, a heinous man would take her life only a couple years later.
I met my half brother Jess after my first year in college, after losing our sister. I traveled to Mississippi to get to know him and his daughters. I learned even more about my family story.
Took a few more years, but after college I found another half-brother I had, Ben.
My sister Lucinda's mother gave me a copy of our father's funeral program with all the names of his children on it. And Ben was one of those names that i entered right into facebook and searched. Lucky me, I found him and coincidentally he only lived a couple towns away in Healdsburg. I met him and his wife and his children. The family story was coming together.
The last remaining rumors were of a possible first-born daughter when my father was 15. No clue where to begin.
Miraculously, She ended up finding ME on facebook through our sister Lucinda's page in her memory. Since i was listed as her sister on FB, my long lost sister messaged me. Now we are in contact and I hope to meet her someday soon as well as her children and grandchildren. The family story still has some ways to go, but I've made huge strides in having a clear picture of the Correia history and how I fit into that framework.
So yes, when a lot of you met me, i sure didn't feel like i had much of a family. My brother was my family, the Mime Troupe was my family. that was enough for me because it was better than I'd ever gotten.
Then i got younger siblings and parents and that was a dream come true. Something new, a way for me to be a new sister and daughter. to be able to BE a daughter after never feeling like one.
it was all complicated and enough.
But finding blood relatives that can and want to be a part of your life, is so rewarding. I wouldn't trade in any of them. blood or water. kin is kin.
those that didn't have to be there, and were, i am so very thankful.
this is a complicated story but i hope i make a little more sense after you have read this.
p.s: if you haven't told me i should write a book/play by now, join the club.
p.p.s: if you want to help me write a book/play, serious inquiries only. :)
Love,
Bob the Girl (ain't i a woman yet?)
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